Thursday, February 2, 2012

Review: The Pandorica Opens


The rug has been pulled from under my feet, my jaw is on the floor, my head has been well and truly melted.  Stephen Moffat, you're a genius - you played us like a deck of cards.

First things first.  I was totally and utterly convinced that inside the Pandorica was a version of the Doctor.  Who else could this be: "a goblin, or trickster, or warrior" who's "soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies, the most feared creature in all the cosmos."  Sound familiar?!  In my more wildly imaginative moments I pictured David Tennant in there, but I think that was just wishful thinking on my part.  When being honest with myself I only expected another Matt Smith (what with me being convinced there's been two of him in this series anyway).

So... from what I've picked up from the web, you all felt exactly the same as me when the Pandorica opened to reveal... Nobody.  Just an empty chair, ready for filling.  At that instant, my heart dropped, because I knew what was going to happen.  The Pandorica had been specifically constructed to contain the Doctor. 

Part of me was in tears over this turn of events, while another part was wildly delighted.  What an absolutely glorious twist.  I was knocked for six, gobsmacked, any other cliché you can think of, because in all its simplicity, this turn was genius.  We'd never been specifically told what was in the Pandorica, just that it had been built as a prison for this fearsome thing.  So to find that it contained nothing yet was sheer brilliance.  The Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen and Autons all working together to save the universe from the Doctor.  It turned everything upside down, and was, as my friend David pointed out, the greatest mind-fuck ever.

Or at least it was until Rory's story was revealed.

My emotions went from "YAY!!! He's back!" to "Oh shit, he's an Auton... Is he good or bad?" to "Ah here, don't have Amy saving him like she did with Bracewell, that's just Chibnall levels of retardness" to "Oh my God.  He killed Amy!"

Seriously, Stephen Moffat, you are a master of your art.  You've killed Amy, had all the villains unite for a good cause, turned Rory plastic, and locked the Doctor in the Pandorica.  You're an evil genius!

As you can tell from reading this so far, I'm still just in awe of what was a truly wonderful, spectacular episode, and am still trying to get my head around it.  So please, bear with me as I go through the episode and try and work out my niggles and things!

1.  Was that two TARDISs (TARDII??!) in Vincent's painting?  Okay, granted, it could just be his impressionistic style but from some angles... Here, look yourself (thanks to @Bullitt33 for doing that up!):


Hmm...

2.  Was that a sneaky Captain John from Torchwood reference, regarding the still-attached-to-the-wrist Vortex Manipulator?  Probably not important at all, but I like noticing these things!

3.  In Flesh and Stone, River says she was in prison for killing "the best man she ever knew."  I have a feeling we can disregard this as being the Doctor (though it could be reverse psychology now) by the simple fact that she's already in prison at the start of the episode.  Unless she kills and commits crimes willy-nilly I think we can assume she's in for this murder?  Which means she's not going to commit it next week.  Her mystery continues...

4.  The door to the Under-henge looked suspiciously like a stone Dalek... Leaked photos from the Big Bang also show a stone Dalek.  A proper one though.

5.  So a good wizard traps the "trickster" in the Pandorica?  And good wizards always turn out to be the Doctor?  Is he the one behind this whole plan?  Has he locked himself in the Pandorica?  My brain hurts.

6.  One thing that really niggled is this:  Eleven doesn't seem to mind using humans in dangerous situations.  He sends Amy and Rory off to take care of Prisoner Zero, he recklessly endangers Amy by pressing "Protest" in The Beast Below, he sends humans off into space to fight the Daleks in Victory of the Daleks, he's quite happy to throw River Song off on Alfava Metraxis and leave her to her fate, I could go on... Here he decides to use the Romans to help him fight the alien invasion.  Is it just me or is this kind of an asshole, non-Doctorish thing to do?

7.  And.. AHAHAHAHAHa.  Ahem.  That was my evil, I-Knew-I-Was-Right laugh.  I mentioned before that I thought the Doctor was lying about his reasons for taking Amy away at the end of The Eleventh Hour and whaddya know?!  He admits it, and says it's because her house is too big with too many empty rooms.  Kind of like the house in The Lodger...

8.  I loved the disembodied Cyberman head.  It was the first time I found them scary...  It came after Amy like a demented Terminator and I found the scene with the head and tentacles reminiscent of the scene in Pirates of the Caribbean 3 where Davy Jones kills someone with his facial arms... Gross!

9.  The scene where the Doctor realises that Rory is back is just pricelessly funny.  I honestly wish Rory could have been the full-time companion, I love the dynamic between him and the Doctor.  But then of course he turns out to be made of plastic and controlled by the Nestene Consciousness.  I'd still take prefer he kept travelling in the TARDIS!

10.  I don't know if you noticed, but that Vortex Manipulator of River's?  It's handily left with the Doctor when she goes off in the TARDIS...

11.   I absolutely loved the Doctor's epic "Don't fuck with me" speech.  First time I saw it, I found it completely rousing, the pep-talk to end all pep-talks.  Of course, watching it again, knowing why exactly all these races have gathered here, it takes on another meaning.  It's just the Doctor shouting at the sky, thinking he can win, that he can outfox them, but of course he can't.  He thinks he has the Pandorica when in reality, it has him.  That just broke my heart!

12.  Okay.  So the TARDIS is being externally controlled.  By whom?  Who is that voice over the speaker, repeating "Silence will fall"?  It sounds like Davros or Prisoner Zero.  Hopefully, if it's either of them, it will be the latter!

13. This twice in this series that Rory has died and woken up somewhere else (see Amy's Choice).  Will this be important?

14. Who left the burn marks in Amy's lawn?  Where, for that matter, is her Aunt Sharon, while the house is being raided? You can actually get the words "Auton" and "Sontaran" from her name, with nshar leftover first time and uh leftover next time.  Eh... Let's disregard the leftovers.  But the other points are intriguing!

15.  Then we find out the whole scenario has been designed using Amy's memories.  I would absolutely love it if it turned out that Amy was a villain, leading the Doctor on through the series.  Or turned out to be an Auton too.  Anything like that.  That probably won't be the case... But still.  It raises questions.  Why use Amy to lure the Doctor in anyway?  I still think Prisoner Zero, with his 12 year tapping into her psychic energy, is going to come up again.  Hoepfully as Olivia Coleman, I love her.

16.  And once again, genius twist with Rory and the Romans.  All hail Moffat!

17.  So only the Doctor can pilot the TARDIS, eh?  What were River and Amy doing the last two episodes then?!  Silly Daleks... Hmm...

I apologise for this post being so all over the place, I'm still working this out in my head and I can't really do a proper review till I've seen The Big Bang.  Which I cannot wait for.  I have great faith that Moffat will not use some ridiculous way of rescuing everyone (I have nightmares about the Doctor freeing himself using the screwdriver!) and that everything will be resolved brilliantly.  Roll on Saturday evening!

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