Mostly, Doctor Who has been wonderful for the past five years. Three great portrayals, brilliant monsters, engaging storylines and wonderfully dodgy CGI. It warms the cockles of your heart.
But just occasionally, episodes come along that make you wish you could feed them to Amy's Crack.
1. Aliens of London/World War 3/Boomtown
Pigs that have been engineered to fly spaceships. Flatulent aliens, one of whom looks like my old English teacher. Relying on Mickey to save the day. Seriously, Russell T Davies, what were you thinking?! Episodes like this just seem firmly aimed at the kids, and that's never a good thing. The adult fans need something too you know! If it wasn't for Harriet Jones these episodes would be total write-offs for me, but I love her character. And now I hear the Slitheen are coming back for the Pandorica opening. Well, fuck you, whoever thought of that.
2. The Girl In The Fireplace
Yes, I realise this is rather controversial of me. Most people absolutely loved this episode. I just didn't. I was underwhelmed by Sophia Myles' acting, Mickey was in it too much, Rose did nothing but whine, and I hated the love story. It just seemed to serve no purpose at all. The Doctor could still have kept coming back to save her without getting all romantic about it. The clockwork monsters were excellent though.
3. Love and Monsters
Oh God. This is, for me, the lowest point of the reboot. It's just terrible all the way through. And not just because the Doctor is barely in it, because Blink is amazing and he's hardly in that. It's just because this episode is pure shit. Stupid monster, stupid "hero", unnecessary ruining of ELO, too much Jackie, and of course a slab of stone reduced to being a blowjob sex slave for the rest of its life. Awful awful awful. (Pictured: the start of a "romantic" night in).
4. The Runaway Bride
Of course, here we have Donna Noble before she became my favourite companion. And it took a while to make her my favourite because of this episode, where she is, frankly, obnoxious. Loud, desperate, opinionated, fond of screaming... I wanted to never see her again, though she did obviously redeem herself at the end. Plus the Racnoss was ridiculous, basically a spider version of Donna with an annoyingly archaic way of speaking and a horrible line in over acting. It was all basically rubbish - I honestly didn't give a shit about anyone in it.
5. Smith and Jones
Am I the only one who hated this too? I just found it ridiculous. I think I just don't want to believe that the Intergalatic Police are bipedal rhinos. As a season opener it just wasn't strong enough. That's my main argument with it really I guess... I also suppose it was the first series opener not to introduce a new Doctor and therefore obviously wouldn't make as much of an impact. It's not a bad episode: It's probably the best of all the episodes mentioned here. I just think it should have been much better.
6. 42
I've never actually watched this. But Chris Chibnall wrote it so I know it's shite anyway.
7. The Doctor's Daughter
Seriously, what was the point of this episode? Is Jenny a Time Lord/Lady or not? And if she's some sort of clone is she not technically more of the Doctor's Sibling? Why go to the bother of creating this character and then NEVER BRINGING HER BACK? Okay, so she doesn't have a TARDIS. But she can regenerate, though not into a different body. No-one ever goes looking for her. I don't think it even really furthered the series, plot-wise. It was just one of those ill-thought-out homages to the classic series.
8. Planet of the Dead
This started off good, all Mission: Impossible-y, and then just turned super boring. I honestly don't care that you're all about to get eaten by alien locusts, to the point where I switched the episode off half-way and never bothered with it again. Even David Tennant annoyed me in this one - must he always be so damn chirpy?!
9. Vampires of Venice
Again, just boring to be honest. And also featured some of the worst CGI I've ever seen. Matt Smith scaling the tower was horribly reminiscent of Adam West's Batman series. Where's the Bat Space-Fish Repellent?!
10. The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood
Words cannot describe how much I hated these episodes. I've already talked about them in previous posts, and their epic stupidity - Seriously, pulling shrapnel from the crack with nary an ill effect, a particularly retarded effort at interspecies diplomacy (did they honestly think the world would listen to Amy and Nasreen?), the ridiculous change of heart of the dissecting Silurian... Can Chris Chibnall just never write for Doctor Who again, ever?
Well that's my little rant over and done with, feel free to disagree in the comments, or give me other suggestions!
No comments:
Post a Comment